The Ghost and Mrs. McGrath
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The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities between any parties or situations are completely coincidental.
The Ghost and Mrs. McGrath By J. Timothy Quirk ©2024
Narrator
As the fire crackled before the solitary figure in the wingback chair in the otherwise dark and silent room, the strange apparition emerged from the shadows and whispered…
Ghost
I have a message from the fates beyond, Conor O’Neill.
Narrator
The seated figure sat forward so the light from the fireplace illuminated her features as she said…
Erin McGrath
My name’s Erin McGrath. You have the wrong house.
Ghost
Are…are you certain? This is Holly Lane, isn’t it?
Erin McGrath
There is no Conor here. Be off with you now.
Ghost
Um…Will he be back soon?
Erin McGrath
There has been no one but meself in this house for nigh on two and ten years. Aren’t spirits supposed to be all knowing?
Ghost
I wouldn’t say “all knowing”. I mean, we know quite a lot. A lot more than we knew when we were alive, believe me. The living knows very little.
Erin McGrath
At least we know how to read a map.
Ghost
Those who cross from the terrestrial plane of existence realize how little the boundaries of mortal men truly matters.
Erin McGrath
Hhmpph…Why did you want to visit with Conor O’Neill anyhow?
Ghost
Oh, well, that’s…private.
Erin McGrath
We’re talking about privacy now, are we? Well maybe next time, I’ll wander into your parlor and say something about fate while you’re trying to enjoy a pint and we’ll see how you like it!
Ghost
Those of us in the spirit realm don’t have parlors of our own but…A pint, you say?
Erin McGrath
You’re not in the terrestrial plane. You wouldn’t like it.
Ghost
I wouldn’t say that. There was many a night I held a pint in my hand.
Erin McGrath
And it led you astray, no doubt. That’s why you’re haunting the earth with messages of fate instead of singing with the choir invisible like my Sean. If I should be entertaining any ghostly visitors at all, it should be my Sean.
Ghost
It doesn’t work that way. I wish it did, but it doesn’t. We try not to haunt the virtuous unless it’s very important and the virtuous don’t haunt at all.
Erin McGrath
Well…as long as you’re here, I suppose, you might as well have a pint yourself before you’re on your way.
Ghost
If it’s not too much trouble.
Erin McGrath
Worried about trouble now, are ye? Ha.
Sound; pours a pint.
Ghost
Thanking you kindly. Cheers.
Erin McGrath
Cheers. (beat) So you must have been up to a heap lot of trouble when you were alive to be wandering about now.
Ghost
You might say that, Mrs. McGrath. In life I cared not at all for anyone but meself and I’m paying for it; you can be right about that.
Erin McGrath
A bit of a rascal, eh?
Ghost
Not as much as you’d think. Just not as kind as one should be. It’s the little things that add up on the ledger. Do we give to those in need or visit the lonely, feed the hungry or make peace between those who fight? When we fail to be there for others, that’s another item on the bill and debts come due, you can be sure of that, in this life or the next.
Erin McGrath
Poor Conor O’Neill.
Ghost
Mrs. McGrath, I told you. I can’t discuss his message with anyone else. Besides, it seems to me that you know him. That would make it worse.
Erin McGrath
Well, I knew his Siobhan better, poor dear. Caught the fever and never recovered. I can’t believe Conor would be up to much trouble now to be visited by the likes of you. He keeps to himself except for going to Mass every Sunday and the shop on the first of the month. You should really just leave him be, if you want to know the truth.
Ghost
Why do you say that?
Erin McGrath
Maybe he finally has some peace and quiet. Lord knows Siobhan O’Neill could talk up a storm to raise the dead, if you don’t mind the expression. Nonstop chatter. A mouth that ran longer than a train from Cork to Dublin.
Ghost
Anyone might miss the sound of another voice in the room, wouldn’t you say?
Erin McGrath
That’s still no reason to haunt the poor man. It’s no sin to mind one’s business in private. Why, I’ve been alone for two and ten years and it’s done me no harm.
Ghost
Is that right, now?
Erin McGrath
Sure, it is. Sure, it is. Many is the night I could have gotten myself into trouble, but I stayed put.
When the girls of the parish came a calling, I didn’t even open the door. I knew they were up to some mischief.
Ghost
But…that was some time ago, yes? A decade or more?
Erin McGrath
And what of it? I’ve caused no harm to others… and not too many a man or woman can say the same.
Ghost
That’s true. You’ve caused no harm… to others.
Erin McGrath
(beat) Or to meself…(beat) It’s not wrong to have thoughts, you know. Everyone has thoughts in tough times or good. Sometimes for no reason at all. A bad thought here and there can flash upon a mind. It’s the action that counts and I took no action tonight. None!
Ghost
No. No action happened here tonight.
Erin McGrath
There is still judgement in your voice, and I don’t care for it at all.
Ghost
You would agree there’s a difference between causing no harm and doing “good works”? Believe me, I know the difference…
Erin McGrath
I know. I know, you said in life you didn’t feed the hungry or visit the lonely…
Ghost
In life, I did not…It was too late when I realized when we do something good for others, it does help ourselves, in a way. As long as it’s not rewarded materially; I mean then, we’ve already received payment in full, but let’s not worry about those kind of details for the moment.
Erin McGrath
(beat) I miss him.
Ghost
I know.
Erin McGrath
Sean McGrath was a good man. Not much of a talker. They said I used to talk enough for the both of us. Not as much as Siobhan O’Neill, mind, but enough. (sigh) and now,…before this night, I’d forgotten the sound of me own voice. Isn’t that strange? To me, I find it strange. There used to be so much to talk about. But it was all about what went on out there. (pulling the curtain by the window). Why…why if my eyes don’t deceive me…that’s Mister O’Neill. What is he doing out and about? He…he seems to be heading this way. Why on earth would that be? He’s…why he’s coming to the door. (sound: knock on the door). Of all the…why would he expect an answer? I shouldn’t answer the door. No…I shouldn’t. (beat) but then again, the man…could do with a bit of company every now and again, isn’t that right?
Ghost
Everyone could do with a bit of company every now and again. And you’ve already poured a pint for a guest. There it is, still on the table.
Erin McGrath
I…I suppose I will invite him in. It would do the poor man some good to have a bit of lively conversation. Good for everyone all around, no doubt. (beat) I don’t know if I would have opened the door if you had not come from the shadows tonight.
Ghost
To know that, one would have to be “all knowing” or at least, know a little more than the living.
Erin McGrath
It is fortunate you visited the wrong house.
Ghost
Yes. (beat) The wrong house. (beat) Goodnight, Mrs. McGrath.
End
The audio version Directed by Kurt Boucher Starring Beth Steinberg and Jack Sheedy